Oh everything. Now I’m terribly sorry that my cat can’t talk. If only for a moment he had this ability, I would ask a couple of questions. Is acrylic paint so delicious?!?! And why, well, why, she told him??? And if there was still time, at the same time I asked if it was so pleasant to sleep in the closet on my pink sneakers?!?! I still ask, only in response to an indefinite Uuuuu, or Mururu.
During the day the cat slept all the time. I quietly rejoiced. And it turned out he had fallen asleep. 
. Of course I was happy! How else? The remote control is only mine, no hysteria and whining. Just watched Murder on the Beach. Tennet is awesome! I didn’t even immediately recognize him not in the image of Doctor Who))) No derogatory glances for you when I decided to pedal. No one tried to steal chicken for soup. No one voted on the case and no. Oh, what is life like with a normal cat?!?!
When the cat flowed smoothly into the kitchen at the beginning of the tenth, it immediately became clear — the end of peaceful life. He yawned like only cats can. The whole jaw. So you can see the insides. Tail skeleton and all.
— Mryau? — Rude — inquiringly stretched out in a hoarse bass.
I rushed to feed, and Sasha laughed mercilessly. The cat gave him an angry look and deigned to eat. I think even the neighbors perfectly heard how he champs!
“Maaoooo?!” He yelled, sitting down on the console.
Ok, I see. Bread received, and now requires circuses!
— No! It’s his own fault for sleeping all day. Now it’s our turn.
And I went to bed with a book under my arm. What a blessing to read in peace!
It all started after twelve. As in a bad horror movie, I jumped from the roar. Something fell.
“Skizi!!!” Sasha hissed.
It rumbled again, as if something was jumping on the laminate floor.
— I’ll kill you! — I stated.
We got up. As soon as I went out into the hallway, something fell under my feet. The cat followed. He galloped on my feet, turned around, and rushed off into the kitchen again. The chess king was left lying lonely under his feet …
— Skizi!!!
I rushed after, stepped on something else. The heel recognized the pawn. And it seems to have received a dent in size! Infection!! Remembering that there were still many pieces in chess, I shuffled to the switch. Light flashed. The cat was eating someone on the couch. He looked around worriedly and ran off to the bedroom. Sasha did not even try to catch, he just jumped out of the way.
Chess was collected, counted, hidden in a box. The box was moved to the balcony. I decided that that was all, mentally ticked the cat for impudence and lay down. The cat checked the box next to «item one» and continued.
All right. Chess stood on a box of pencils and paints. She next and thundered. I jumped up.
— Skizi?!?!
Sasha silently got up. Me too. The cat didn’t even move when I turned on the light. Loudly and with appetite he ate a box of paints. The cans themselves ran away. Luckily, there are only six. The red one turned out to be the most agile, I found it only in the morning, behind the refrigerator. Yellow is the most unlucky. The bank has been bitten. The whole pedestal and the floor under it in the paint!! Fortunately, they immediately wiped it off with a solvent.
I had to fold everything and barricade the TV stand. It’s all stored there. The problem is that there are no doors in the middle section. Where was my brain when we bought it?! It was necessary to take an iron one, with a large barn lock on the doors!
As a sign of protest, the cat ran around until morning. He yelled obscene songs from under the ceiling on the scratching post, and all the time he tried to rearrange his tray closer to the bed.
I don’t remember such restless nights in a long time! While I was trying to sleep, a thought came to me. Remember, lady in Vie, flying in a coffin? Of course, I’m not hinting at anything … But maybe Gogol also had a cat that rode around his apartment in his tray ?!
Moreover, in the morning, (read with roosters), the cat calmed down.
Of course, he didn’t dare to come to us, but he fell apart quite well on the couch. And slept like the dead. He barely crawled to the bowl to make sure he would not remain hungry. Nightmare, damn it.
